We all hear about taking charge of your life–make to do lists, schedule time to fit in exercise, work, play, friends, family, etc. What I have discovered, and am adjusting to practicing, is leaving space for life to happen. To let life unfold at it’s own pace instead of forcing things to happen.
This is new for me. I want what I want and it’s usually now. Patience has never been a huge virtue of mine, but it is becoming stronger the more I learn to let circumstances unfold in their own time. I am learning to let frustration go, just as I’ve been letting go of much of my old life for the past 2 years. It’s a funny feeling, this letting go—kind of like exhaling a breath you’ve been holding in for a minute.
Take, for instance, my partnership with my guy. Now, I don’t have a huge long list of exes, but the significant relationships have always moved along at a pretty good clip concerning sharing deeper feelings, usually within a few months, and I knew where I stood. Not with this guy. Let me be clear–I know he loves me by his actions. There’s no doubt we have a deep connection, incredible chemistry, all the good stuff is there. However, he is taking his sweet old time in uttering the three magic words. Part of me likes and appreciates this. He doesn’t just throw those words around, and when he says them they will mean something. I know he is still healing from his divorce. To top it off, he is a Cancer, and everyone knows they approach love sideways and cautiously, are able to show love but are slow to say the words. He is wonderful in every way and I know he is the one for me, but this was driving me crazy for a while. I wanted to sing love songs, write love notes, be all mushy. I even told him once that it was ok to be mushy with me. He replied, “Not yet.” I thought maybe on our one-year anniversary. Then maybe my birthday. Then maybe on our cruise. Nope. Everything else was romantic and perfect in every way. Christmas, New Year–not yet. Now Valentine’s Day is next week. And I’m not going to push it. As my friend pointed out when I was lamenting this to her, half of the fun is in the anticipation of that moment. She’s right. I am staying in the moment, and letting this romance unfold at it’s own unique pace. It’s good practice for other areas in life too, letting they mystery of life reveal itself instead of trying to always force things. So I’m taking a deep breath, and exhaling, anticipating those sweet words from his lips…when he’s ready. Creating by doing what appears to be nothing. Now that’s a trick.