This is my first blog (ever!), and I am thinking there is no better way to do this than to jump right in. This blog is for any woman who is still reeling from the initial decision to divorce, is in the middle of the process, or is completely divorced and thinking, “Now what”? My intention is to offer helpful tips, pose thought-provoking questions, and explore the many facets of divorce—all in an attempt to get you through the pain and into your joy again. I am a divorce coach and my mission is to get you through this phase of your life with as much dignity, clarity, and happiness as possible.
One thing about divorce—no one can prepare you for the pain that is involved. Whether it is like a low-grade fever that festers over many years until there is nothing left of the marriage, giving you an inkling of what’s coming, or it blows up in your face one day with no clear warning (although when you look back, you will always see signs)…there is always pain involved. Excruciating pain, in many cases. Pain that makes you forget to breathe and you catch yourself holding your breath throughout the day, for many days or even months…pain that makes you shake uncontrollably…pain that makes you burst into tears when a stranger says hello (just for a little while, thankfully).
Then there’s the numbness that sets in, the fog of days to get through…asking yourself what happened and what will happen…
There’s the whole legal aspect to deal with, and how are you supposed to do that when you are overwhelmed with emotions? Do you give up everything just to get it over with and move on, or do you unsheathe the claws and make him pay, fighting over every last detail? And if children are involved, how in the world do you break their hearts while trying to make everything ok for them? Who gets the friends? What about in-laws? What if you were close to his family? All of these aspects must be handled, and the more graceful you can be about it, the better off you will be in the end.
I will help you explore ways to take care of yourself, good things to know as you go through the legal process of separating lives, how to create the best version of yourself for this new life you have, and even things to consider when you feel that you are ready to venture out into the dating world again (yes, that time does eventually come, I promise).
So here’s to creating the next chapter in your life! Divorce is an ending, but also a beginning. There is still light even if you can’t see it right now. It never goes away, we just sometimes have our eyes covered up. Let’s join in this journey to be joyful.
Dancing into the light with you,
Liesel Darby, M.A, M.Ed., CC